Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Nerd Lunch 128: KILL ME NOW!

Nerd Lunch Podcast
The Nerd Lunch Podcast invited me back on for their "Kill Me Now" episode. This installment was all about the things we do for our significant others that we don't necessarily want to do, but we do it for them anyway and vice versa. Topics weren't limited to seeing romantic comedies, but also events we got dragged to, and other abysmal things like boy bands. It was a fun conversation as I joined Jeeg, and Paxton Holley so give it a listen or download it from iTunes. Thanks for checking it out!


Wednesday, March 26, 2014

eXXXotica eXpo 2014 Comes to Atlantic City April 11th - 13th!!!

If you've been coming to The Sexy Armpit for a while, you've probably seen my coverage of various comic and horror cons at one point or another, but I've also covered a "Love and Sex" Expo several times that caught on like wildfire called eXXXotica. If porn stars and sex toys are not your bag, then you probably won't be heading to the event at the Taj Mahal April 11th - 13th, but I will be. Out of all the eXXXotica installments I've attended, this will mark the first time that I'll be at the Atlantic City version of the expo and my excitement is growing

The eXXXotica Expo and New Jersey have been in a long, erratic love affair for years now. Early on, the promoters of eXXXotica experienced some push back from not only the people of Secaucus, but also the city of Edison. Eventually, the event soldiered on and it's been going strong for several years. Not only do they host the event in Edison, but also right on the boardwalk in Atlantic City, which is an awesome backdrop. The upcoming expo marks their 2nd year at the Taj Mahal. We may not be as cool as the west coast, but it's obvious that New Jersey has plenty of perfect locations for hosting such naughty spectacles.

What is eXXXotica all about? One of the main attractions that gets people to come...to the expo is the fact that you can meet and talk to your favorite porn stars. This really is the Monster Mania Convention of the porn industry. For many, getting to rub...elbows with their favorite adult film icons is a huge selling point, but there really is so much more to it.

In addition to the adult film stars (over 150 of them but Kristina Rose, Jynx Maze, and Alexis Texas to name a few), eXXXotica also offers competitions, awards, seminars, concerts, exhibitor tables with new products, live performances, giveaways and after parties.

Plus, if you're not familiar with it, it's not just for guys, in fact it's tailored for men, women, and couples - but those straight laced couples are gonna need to loosen up a little first!

Ladies are FREE on Friday!!!

Monday, March 24, 2014

New Jersey's Great Pop Culture Moments Vol.82: The Muppets Drive to NJ!

There's not much that can make you feel better when you're sick...except maybe The Muppets.

I've been utilizing all of the traditional methods with the intentions of feeling better, including taking medicine, getting extra rest, and watching many therapeutic hours of Netflix and DVDs from my own collection. 

Aside from the other usual remedies like hot tea and chicken soup, I realized I'm on my own in my fight against whatever bug has invaded my body. In my case, my sinuses have been exploding through my face and I've had a cough that sounds like the bark of rabid dog. Not only have I felt really crappy, I've also been annoying the hell out of myself. At times I was too out of it to even get up off the couch. You know those types of days where you catch about 20 minutes of 6 different movies throughout the day because you're in and out of consciousness and paying attention to a full movie is way too much work? 

When I finally rose from the couch, I was hungry, and I also felt in the mood to watch something starring The Muppets because I wasn't able to get out and see Muppets Most Wanted this weekend.

I own all the Muppet films, some I recorded from TV when they originally aired, others were official purchases, so I had a bunch of stuff to choose from. My selection was offbeat and one that I've actually ignored since it first aired in 2005. Surprisingly, from the dusty innards of one of my DVD cases, I picked out Muppets Wizard of Oz. It was the original broadcast that I recorded when it aired on The Wonderful World of Disney. It even had an intro with Michael Eisner like he used to do in the '80s. Not choosing one of the more popular Muppet offerings didn't feel like my finest hour, but something was telling me it was the right choice. After watching it though, I may even rank it above one or two of the other Muppet endeavors. It's not disappointing as some reviewers will lead you to believe. It's pretty funny and it even stars Jeff Tambor!

That was the time Muppets traveled to OZ, but what about the time they travelled to New Jersey? YUUUP! They had a sweet gig live tweeting Super Bowl XLVIII, but the catch was that they had to get to MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, NJ to meet up with Kermit the Frog first. Luckily the Muppets had been starring in a series of Toyota commercials during that time, so they had easy access to a fleet of their latest cars. They all crammed into a Toyota Highlander and hauled ass to the big game. And I write big game because they can't say Super Bowl in the commercial, but the Swedish Chef can, well, sort of. The Sferndy Boom!

Monday, March 17, 2014

AD JERSEUM: Shannon Rose - Ireland in New Jersey

While you may be recuperating from a weekend of St. Patrick's Day parades and imbibing enough liquor to get 3 of Jabba the Hutt's drunk uncles even drunker, why not enjoy the latest installment of Ad Jerseum? It's been a while, so here it goes!

Unless there's some free food in it for me, giving free plugs to chain restaurants is not something I do. I really contemplated posting about this billboard solely for that reason, but ultimately it's too Jersey too pass it up. I'd much rather give the plug to a local mom and pop restaurant, but today's billboard literally jumped out at me several months ago.

I took this photo a while back and rather than just sit on it until next year, it would probably be best if I actually posted this before St. Patrick's Day 2014 comes to an end, wouldn't you say?

This billboard ad resides on Route 1 South in the Rahway area. It caught my eye thanks to its usage of the state. The comparison is very persuasive. If you're a fan of Irish pubs/restaurants and you're cruising down Route 1, I think it would entice you to turn off.

As offensive it might be to some, the fact is, I'm not really a big fan of Irish pubs. It's more because I prefer Italian and Mexican food over basically any other cuisine, but I have to admit, nothing beats beer, burgers, and those giant fries at an Irish pub.

Shannon Rose, an Irish pub/restaurant chain, has 3 locations and they' re all in New Jersey. I've eaten there many times and I've never been disappointed, although I will say that it gets extremely packed, and it's pretty loud, especially on Sundays during football season. It's definitely not a spot to go if you're trying to be incognito, but the beer is cold and the appetizers are great.

Monday, March 10, 2014

Monster Mania 27 Recap


Freddy Krueger was in town over the weekend. The mere thought of this may have struck an incredible amount of fear into you back in the mid '80s, but nowadays it's not as scary as it is cool. At some point in the future, we'll look back and marvel at how monumental of a thing this was. FREDDY F'N KRUEGER himself meets and greets his fans, quite often I might add, in New Jersey of all places. This is the type of thing that happens all the time at the Cherry Hill chapter of Monster Mania.

Negating all that build-up, I wasn't actually there to meet Robert Englund. Nope, my mission for Monster Mania 27 was merely to cruise around the dealer rooms and hang out with friends. While not as monumental as the 26th Monster Mania, #27 did have its charms.

Homemade Horror Chocolates!

As we stared down several stories to the ground floor from our newly renovated room at Crown Plaza in Cherry Hill, we gazed at the Englund line. His drawing power is tremendous every time. The line to meet him is usually wrapped at least halfway around Crowne Plaza.

When I see the Englund line, I wonder to myself, are these all people who have met him before and want to meet him again, or is this line sprinkled with a whole new generation of fans? I imagine it's a bit of both which is a really cool thing. The crowd is usually very diverse. It's not just a bunch of middle aged people going to meet equally as old if not older celebrity guests. Appropriately, there's constantly new blood. I witnessed it first hand when a young kid/horror fan who couldn't have been more than 12, ran up to John "Freddy in Space" Squires and his wife Jen to say hello. It was one of those cool moments that reinforced the fact that the horror community is tight knit and comes out in full force to local horror cons such as this.

This Guy...

One of the cool things about the March installment of Monster Mania is that it usually falls near my birthday on the calendar. That was pretty awesome for a long time, but with each passing year the novelty has began to wear off. Any time I'm at Monster Mania I feel like there aren't many other places I'd rather be...probably only Disney World. It must be that all the nostalgia makes me feel like a kid again. I feel very at home and at ease at the cons because they're a chance to tune out the world and get transported to an alternate reality. I love being able to talk to people with the same interests as me as well as doing some horror-themed shopping.


Something in my mind tells me that I'll get more out of the experience if I don't go to a con merely just to buy stuff. Is it a fuller experience if I meet some of the celebrity guests as well as shop for stuff on my macabre mental checklist? This time around I was a clean slate. I was going for no other reason than just to be there and enjoy the experience. Usually, that's the precise time when the coolest stuff pops out at me. Plus, it's more fun to be taken off guard by an item you didn't even realize you wanted.

Once we arrived we wasted no time swinging through all the dealer rooms a few times. This is the first time that I don't think I bought anything except food and drinks. I'm proud of myself. I didn't even buy a t-shirt, but that's because I have..all of them. Matt found a few toys that he discussed in his Monster Mania post and later he surprised me with an insanely awesome Slimer night light! Thanks Matt! See a picture of it at my Instagram (instagram.com/sexyarmpit.)


We purposely thought it best not to intentionally try to recapture the over the top nature of the August installment of Monster Mania, so we just hung out for the rest of the night and had a few drinks. The kitchen at the hotel bar was backed up. This wait resulted in John, Matt, and myself debating about our favorite Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th films. I feel like we talk about this same topic each time we are in each others presence, but it always seems like we accomplish something in the conversation. Sometimes I get looked at like an elitist film snob for my taste in NMOES movies. As a kid I swore Dream Warriors was my favorite, and it may be one of my favorites, but ultimately, the original is without a doubt my favorite and it's the installment I can watch anytime without having to be in the mood for it. As far Friday the 13th goes, I'm pretty sure we all agreed (but I'm only officially quoting myself) that 1984's Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter is our favorite of the F13th series.

After we finally ate and had a few beers we ran into Tom Bryce from Shit Movie Fest - a guy who I swear I've most likely brushed shoulders with at previous Monster Manias but didn't realize it. It was great to meet him since he's one of the nicest dudes from our online world. I also saw our friend Jess Rajs from Gorgeous and Gory and a few other horror-fiend friends of mine.

"Someone saw a clown up on 12..."

Later, we all decided it was time to head to the room rather than being loud and obnoxious in the lobby which had pretty much cleared out for the night. We hopped on the elevator and ran into a creepy clown guy in the elevator. I wish this was going to lead into some sort of horror movie scenario, but it doesn't. This guy's got to get to his room to get some sleep just like everyone else does.

The following paragraph contains situations of a graphic and violent nature, reader discretion is advised. 

I'm not sure how it began, but I'm pretty sure I instigated it.

The epic hotel room match between John Squires and myself included tons of back and forth, reverse knife edge chops, and even some painful scientific holds, but ultimately I took home the win. Now you know Johnny wouldn't let me off that easy. We couldn't take away his heat like that either. Smart booking dictates that he needed to pull some real #heel type shit.

As I was reeling from the win, I heard Dinosaur Dracula announce me as the winner (just before he passed out for the night grasping his new Boglin) and at that point it really felt like I was in the ring getting cheered and jeered by a packed house at Boardwalk Hall in Atlantic City, home of Wrestlemania 4 and 5 (at least that's what was going through my mind.) Distressed, John's wife Jen looked with a tear streaming down her face, she ran into the ring/bed area and tried to console a stunned John. I hobbled over to take a swig of beer for the working man from my can before I could throw it in the trash and...BAM!!!

John spears me into the wall.

The whole room shook. 

Can you blame us? We were a mere 8 miles away from the ECW Arena. Extreme vibes were running wild. This is how the commentators would've called it, when you read these, hear them in your mind as they would sound:






Bless the people in the adjacent hotel room. They were saints for not calling in a noise complaint. I feel even worse for the newly renovated hotel room itself since it surely felt the wrath of two of the most powerful and destructive bloggers and writers on the face of the planet. Don't worry, if the earth is ever in some sort of diabolical peril, the two of us will join forces as a tag team and doggy paddle everyone who fell into the Atlantic Ocean to safety. You're welcome.

It was pretty embarrassing when we ran into our nice neighbors as we both checked out at the same time the next morning. They told us that they thought the mirror was going to fall off the wall in their room. A big thanks to them for being such good sports.
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